LIVING WITH ENDOMETRIOSIS
All of the feelings and emotions of living with endometriosis are complex and difficult, but it is important to remember that you have to be the one to make and accept your decisions.
Sue’s story
I’m out and about and then I get the standard question: ‘How are you?’. I give my usual answer: ‘I’m surviving, thank you’. A twitch of an eyebrow. Of course they were expecting and only wanted to hear: ‘Fine, thank you’. But, I don’t like to lie and I also don’t wish to give a ‘case history’, so ‘surviving’ is honestly how I feel. It is also somewhere in between feeling good (‘normal’) and being sick enough to justify being in bed — mind you, often I’d love to be curled up in bed!
Then, you get ‘Oh, but you look fine’. I almost scream with frustration. They’re fishing for an explanation. So, should I explain or not? Well…in the interests of helping them to understand (hopefully), here goes with the justification speech yet again! I spiel off: ‘Well, I’ve got endometriosis (only some know what it is and even less understand the implications) and it is caused by…and it makes you have…symptoms, etc. etc.’. I would usually like to add, but prudently don’t, ‘I look “fine” because…
• I have become determined to beat it!’.
• I have my outward “facade” on today, which is a fake expression, accompanied by make-up, that says “I’m fine, I have no pain or problems at all”‘;
• the fact is I don’t venture out when I’m really feeling dreadful so you don’t see the real evidence of endometriosis’, or
• I’ve taken a painkiller!’.
You come away feeling guilty because you don’t look sick enough for them to believe or understand.
*88/41/5*
